Sometimes, more work can be good

Sometimes,

routine sets in so much that days seem to run into each other.

So,

a slight deviation from the routine,

an opportunity to do something a little different

is very welcomed.

Today,

I am excited to be set a new task

which would involve

me being in and out of schools

more frequently than now;

and me having to nose around

a whole lot more than I already do.

Looking forward to getting started on this

tomorrow!

~

How have you been?

What are you looking forward to this week?

Snippets of conversation

Yesterday, in conversation with a friend.

" ...when you and I were young... the world was far more peaceful..."

"What do you mean, when you and I were young? What are we now? Old? Not me, thank you very much."

"I mean... okay, I should take that back. I mean when you and I were children."

"Hmm. That's better."

~

Today, in conversation with a trainer at my gym.

"You should come to one of the flexi-strength classes we have."

"But don't they cost extra?"

"They do. But it's fun. Plus it's full of middle-aged people like you."

~Middle-aged???!!! Me? I think I was too shocked to respond to that one~

~

Tonight, in conversation with my five year old.

"Mumma, was it very scary when you were little?"

"Why would it be scary?"

"Because of the dinasaurs."

"What dinasaurs?"

"Didn't there used to be dinasaurs when you were a little girl?"

~

Suddenly, I am feeling very old.

Golden flames

rambunctious

golden petals

radiating warmth

and happiness.

i surrender

to your splendor.

Saturday

Starting the day with smiles and a lazy breakfast ~ a loaded scramble which has now become seriously addictive ~

Helping the children with homework ~ why is it that Hero cannot sit still for two minutes? ~

Making plans for the next week ~ part of which is going to be here ~

Listening to the ducklings quack away ~ it is unbelievable the amount these little creatures can eat ~

Laundry ~ how I hate having to fold/iron clothes ~

Planning a trip to the Big Easy ~ getting sidetracked by all the tempting food ~

Re-reading this ~ if there is anyone who hasn't read it yet: go read it now! ~

Later today, I am going to be watching this ~ start the day with smiles and end the day with George: can I ask for anything more? ~

Just because

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
~George Sand~

Secrets

I see tombstones in a graveyard

and I wonder what secrets they hold.

Whether you are the confider

or the keeper

secrets cannot be avoided.

Who do you trust well enough to be your secret keeper?

This beautiful song was the prompt for the week, by Jillsy Girl.

It made me instantly think of how I am his secret as he is mine.

Secrets that we shall one day carry to our graves.

Tread softly

“But I, being poor, have only my dreams.
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.”
~ William Butler Yeats ~

Of talk and time

I sit at the back of a room full of people

watching them talk

trying to come to some kind of agreement

as a dispute arises between them.

some nod in agreement.

others sit with their arms folded

in cold silence

still others sit quietly

listening.

I switch off the sound in my mind

and watch

taking in the gestures

the facial expressions

the body language

the unsaid words

communicated so well

with a look

a frown

or a touch of the hand.

I watch them

my mind on the power of unsaid words.

i wonder

if saying the words make no difference,

will the words be missed

if we stopped saying them?

will you still remember

if i stopped reminding?

will it mean just as much

if we never talked about it?

i watch them all agree in agreement

heads now nodding vigorously.

talking it through

they had resolved the issue.

the tenseness of the body language

dissolving into smiles

and animated conversation

once more fills the room.

i sit quietly,

still watching.

my mind on how talk

could undo the knots

that constrict my heart.

i glance at the calendar.

it is but only wednesday still.

time seems to move so slowly

when you want it to hurry along.

I do not (normally) think mathematically

I have never considered myself to be good at math

and when faced with numbers

I am usually hopeless.

But thinking about a relationship gone awry,

it is strange that my first instinct was to conceptualise it

in mathematical terms of a venn diagram.

I don't know how the image came into my mind,

but as I contemplated how two people

who had found so much in common with each other in the past

are now so distant

that they have hardly anything to say to each other,

I saw them in my mind as two sets in a venn diagram.

Two sets that had once shared a large area of intersection between them

but had now moved in opposite directions

so that each set was its own entity

with no overlapping areas of commonality between them.

It's strange how the mind visualises concepts sometimes.

Maybe I need to add a bit of physics into this

to explain the movement of how the two sets merged and then split.

Physics? Me?

Yeah, right.

Capturing...

the excitement of unwrapping presents

the smiles, the joy, the squeals of delight;

cake, candles, a newly received camera

and little ducklings that constantly quack;

celebrating the day with friends at school

and at home.

Nine Years

Big bright eyes

that were the darkest shade of black

looking back at me

as she was first handed to me

bundled up in a blanket.

The soft warmth of her skin,

the jet black hair,

the tiny fingers
that curled tightly around mine.

~

The first smile

a big toothless smile

in the middle of the night

as I was desperately trying to put her back to sleep.

And I melted right there.

~

The first words,

the first uncertain steps,

the first of everything.

All etched in the memory of my heart.

~

And now, today,

my angel is nine.

Where did all those years go?

Working together

Last week I was working with 40 educators.

All of us together in the one room

for 8 hours a day, everyday.

Each of us with our own opinions to voice,

our own concerns to raise,

our own ideas to express,

and

our own convictions about what we want for the future.

It generated a lot of animated discussion,

some very heated arguments

and

a few moments of murkiness.

But at the end of the week,

there was a sense of great satisfaction

and achievement,

making it all seem worthwhile.

This week,

there are 80 people

and two themes on the table for discussion.

I am hoping that eventhough

double the number + double the work = double the tiredness

I will also be able to feel double the satisfaction by the end of the week.

Fire and cheese

I wonder how the sun came to be called a great ball of fire in the sky,

when it is really composed partly of hydrogen and partly of helium?

I wonder why so many kids around the world think the moon is made of cheese?

What do you mean its made out of rock, Mumma? It's cheese! Green cheese, except on a Friday when the cheese turns yellow. And then you have a yellow moon.

This very technical theorisation is from my resident five year old scientist.

Don't you think so?

Sometimes the colour sprayed on walls

with the aerosol can

or is painted on

is more art than graffiti.

Green shoots

After a lot of digging and sowing last weekend

this weekend, we have tiny green shoots

and two-leaved seedlings.

Today

It has been a crazy, crazy day at work

which dragged on forever.

Right now I am too drained to form coherent thoughts.

All I want to do is curl up

and sleep my tiredness away.

Because tomorrow is going to be another crazy day.

I am not content to blend into the background

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
~Winston Churchill~

"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the things you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
~Mark Twain~

What colour are your words?

Do you ever wonder about how words came into being?

I do.

I often think about how a certain word was created

~how did grass come to being called grass, for instance~

or

about how words between different languages relate

~bungalow in English and bangla in Hindi, for instance~

or

about how the meanings of words alter over time

~how did silly come to mean silly when it originally meant blessed, for instance~

When my little loves and I were painting away today

we talked about how the colour words in Dhivehi

seem to stem from an object that exemplifies that colour.

For example,

the word for pink in Dhivehi is fiyaa thoshi

which also means "onion skin".

Similarly,

brown is mushi, which also means "terracotta";

green is fehi, which also means "moss";

turquoise is vilu, which also means "shallow lagoon";

grey is alhi, which also means "ash";

yellow is ree'dhoo, which also means "turmeric".

And the colour of this beautiful bird in the photos?

Guraa fehi,

meaning: parrot green.

Search ~ Find ~ Treasure

Do you believe that each of us is only a half?

That we need to find a matching soul to become a whole?

I might not be a fan of Greek mythology

and discard the idea of Zeus cutting the four-legged, four armed creatures in half

in fear that they may over-power the Gods,

and thereby creating an eternal search for your other half;

but I do like the romance of the notion of a split soul searching for its other half.

I do believe too,

that that connection is like no other:

a feeling of being completely at home

and true to ourselves;

of being fully alive

and our hearts aflame;

of being fully understood

without the need for words;

of being utterly safe with that one person

whatever else may go on around you.

And how would we know when we meet our other half?

You just do.

Y o u.

J u s t.

D o.

~

To echo the words of Tolstoy:

"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began."

That, is how you know.

three little big words

i forgive you.
that was what you said.
three words
that brought a flood of tears,
bursting the dam that had held them back
changing the status quo once again.
with those three words
came acceptance and understanding
a surrender to what once was
an acknowledgement of the courage
to overcome the guilt and face the truth.
with those three words
i stepped once more on to the road of my dreams
from where i had paused.
with those three words
came freedom to imagine the destination
at the end of the road.
i walk
along this road of my dreams
towards where i know is a place
where i will feel a lightness in my heart.

but to get there

i need to first forgive myself.
come, walk beside me

help me get there sooner.
come, walk with me.
your hand in mine
for i do not want to stumble on this road again.

Fridays

Fridays begin with waking up Em
and dressing in the dark,
keeping the giggles quiet as the lazy boys sleep in.
Fridays are about strolling along the beach,
hand in hand
watching the sunrise
mumma and girl together.
Fridays are about weekly house chores
done to a lazy beat,
and smiling at a clean tidy home
that remains spotless for barely thirty minutes
before the mess-making resumes.
Fridays are about endless piles of laundry
and the smell of lavender
as the just-dried clothes get ironed.
Fridays are about big family lunches
and laugher round the table
as stories get shared.
Fridays are about relaxing evenings
reading together
cuddling little bodies to mine
breathing in their sweetness.
Fridays are about
refocusing
over
endless mugs of spiced tea
and looking forward to the good
in the week to follow.

What's your Friday like?

♥

slipping through the fingers

like water in my hand

wanting to hold on

for as long as i possibly can

not wanting to let go

not ever

Why do you blog?

capturing moments of life

finding myself through stringing words together

connecting with like-minded people

making friends

reflecting

making sense of my thoughts

learning

letting my mind relax

sharing

~

these are some of the reasons why this little space exists.

how about you?

why do you blog?

Happiness is like a butterfly

"We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever."

~Carl Sagan~

***

“I embrace emerging experience.
I participate in discovery.
I am a butterfly.
I am not a butterfly collector.
I want the experience of the butterfly.”
~William Stafford~

Black and white

Just as a whitewashed crow soon shows black again,

a dove that associates itself with crows may remain white on the outside,

but

as the proverb goes,

its heart will soon grow black.

The snare of expectation

my heart is filled with expectation

brimming with hope.

and sometimes

something snaps in me

when i realise that what i am experiencing is not what i want.

some days even i don't know what i want.

all i know is that something is not right;

that i am craving something

something just out of my reach

so close that i can pretend to myself that i already have it

yet deep down i know that it remains not in my hands

but annoyingly

just out of reach

making me feel helpless

that despite all the reaching out

i can't touch it.

that's when i snap.

seeing everything else around me fall apart

meaningless

devoid of colour

like a joyless smile.

i can move like clockwork

folding laundry

stirring the sauce on the stove

straightening the books on the shelf

sweeping up the crumbs from the floor.

robot-like.

because something is lacking

something so big

that i wonder if anyone else sees the gaping hole.

some days i am not sure what i want.

all i know is that

i await

with expectations.

Trust

If God helps you,
None can overcome you;
If He should forsake you,
Who is there, after that,
Who could help you?
In God, then, let believers
Put their trust. (3:160)

You may feel
alone,
invisible,
forgotten.
You may feel
like you cannot trust anyone,
not even yourself.
But you are never truly alone
unless
you stop trusting Him.

How do I battle temptation?

I wake up with the best of intentions.

New day, new start and all that.

Getting started for the day with a good adrenaline pumping workout

making me feel good.

Followed by the healthiest of breakfasts

and

going raw at midday

with a fresh but filling salad.

BUT

~yes, the dreaded but~

why is it

that by the end of the day

I am craving

and

~shame-faced admission here~

sometimes giving into

sweet indulgence?

Maybe it is a matter of being enticed by the forbidden?

If you want to give into temptation,

~and trust me, it is good~
go here for the recipe.

It may be a pest...

... but it still makes for an interesting object of study

whether from behind the camera

or in a science laboratory.

As long as it doesn't come anywhere near me or my food,

I can continue to be fascinated by it.

Did you know that a fly can only normally live up to 25 days?

I wonder how many times it gets swatted during its very brief life?

As you can tell,

I have many matters of huge importance on my mind today ;)

What matters

A few days ago, I asked Em and Hero to work together in making a list of things that were important for them. It could be things that they used all the time, things that they enjoyed, thigns that were essential for everyday living. So, they came up with 25 things, things that ranged from toys to toilet. I asked them then, to cut down the list by half, removing things that they could possibly live without, things that were non-essential in this list of important things that they came up all on their own, without any help from anyone else.

I was completely surprised to see that among the first few things they cut off was TV and music. Asked what their reasoning was for this, Em said: "Well they are not essential, are they? You don't HAVE to watch TV or listen to music. They are fun, but you don't need them to live."

Toys went off the lost in the next round. A little bit of protesting from Hero, but when Em gave him a choice between toys and books - books won. So books stayed on the list and toys were discarded. Not surprised that books scored more for them than toys, but very surprised that toys didn't make it very far.

When they had ten items on the list, I made them cut it down in half again. That was hard for them, but for each item, they debated and reasoned, comparing it against each other. Books were among the big five that remained.

Asked to cut down further, they were only able to remove two more. The top three - Family, Love and Prayers - were seen to be equally important, and couldn't be sacrificed.

Some of the things on the list were a little surprising, and some of their choices in taking things off the list were unexpected - but in the end, I think they realised what I wanted them to realise. That without love, without family, without faith, your life is not a life.

I say a prayer today for a sweet lady whom I have never met, but have come to know through the stories I hear about her from my friend. She left the world knowing that she was loved deeply by her family, and that she would be remembered for always in their prayers.

Everything can change in a heartbeat

"Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body,

answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains."

~Kahlil Gibran~

Earlier today,

a friend's grandmother was taken into hospital,

having suffered a heart attack.

To see a loved one suffer

is not, by any means, easy.

To not know if she is going to pull through

or whether this is going to be goodbye

would be even harder to deal with.

My thoughts and prayers are with the family,

hoping that memories of happy times

are a comfort

and that strength prevails to help them through

this difficult time.

But it also reminded me

about how precious life is.

That each day that passes

is one that will never return.

So, as I hold my children tight today,

I want to remind you to cherish your loved ones

hug them close

and never hold back

from sharing with them

your heart

and your time.

Because tomorrow may never come.

Two friends (Hero's suggested title)

I do like my feathered friends,

and like Em here,

wouldn't mind having them use my hands, arms or even shoulders as a perch.

But letting them tap dance on the head

would be a bit much.

~~~

Want a pick me up? Head over here to share some with me.