Lessons in love

In a school playground, two ten year old girls were chatting.

I shamelessly eavesdropped:

My mother says that girls fall in love only once.

They will never truly love again.

But boys are different.

They fall in and out of love easily.

Their love is never true.

And they often break a lot of hearts.

Ten years old.

And these are the lessons that they have learned about love.

I'm curious:

Have you ever suffered of a broken heart?

How did you heal it?

Reminding Myself

Hero will be five in a few days,

and he has suddenly decided that he is going to enter the new year

with a new tantrum-y phase.

During the last few days,

my usually very charming, sweet, little boy

has become a yelling, screaming, i-will-not-stop-until-i-have-my-way boy

and

there has been a lot of bickering between Em and him.

(Sept 2008)

So today I want to go back to my older photos and see how much fun they had together.

They spend hours happily playing with their Little People.

(Dec 2008)

They are great fans of the playing in the sand on the beach.

(Dec 2008)

They love helping out at home.

(May 2006)

Dusting.

(Oct 2006)

Painting their room.

(the tantrum alert t shirt he is wearing was a little premature!)

(Sept 2006)

Helping to lay out new sand in the yard.

(Apr 2006)

They dance together.
Read together.
Act silly and giggle together.

On trips away from home,
they like to be able to share a bed
talking and sharing stories
till they fall asleep.

(June, 2008)

This tantrum-y bickering is draining.
But this too, shall pass.
(soon, I am hoping).

Em & Hero: Tastes

She likes sandwiches with crusts on.

He likes them without.

She likes the yolk of eggs.
He likes only the whites.

She will do anything to avoid eating rice.
He likes rice in any form - even just plain boiled and on its own.

She likes vegetables.
He likes fruits.

She doesn't care much for chocolate.
He needs a daily chocolate fix.

She loves her ice cream.
He never finishes his ice cream.

She prefers to stick to her favourite tastes.
He is more experimental and likes to try new things.

It's one of those days.

One of those days.

You know those days, right?

The nothing-ever-goes-right kind of day?

The cannot-wait-for-the-day-to-end kind of day?

The days when you feel so alone, even when surrounded by people all the time?

Do you get those days?

How do you shake off the gloominess?

I'm off to spend a couple of hours making monster masks with my children.

I'm hoping that will do it for me.

Comparing kitchen notes

1. What is your ultimate comfort food?

2. What is your favourite, most dependable cookbook?

3. What do you make when you want something filling, something delicious, but something fast?

My answers would be:

1. A one pot rice dish I make with whole fragrant spices, sausage, mushrooms, red chillies and kidney beans. So, so good, especially spiked with tabasco sauce.

2. I own 55 cookbooks. I use them all to varying degrees. My most frequently used one would probably be Delia Smith's Complete Cookery Course, although The Best of Annabel Langbein comes a close second.

3. An omlette. With or without any fillings, an omlette is always good, and ready in minutes.

***

Now tell me your answers.

Pausing

"He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead;

his eyes are closed."
~Albert Einstein~

“Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”
~Guillaume Apollinaire~

Taking a breather today.

No work.

Forgetting about mundane routines.

Just being happy.

Just 24 hours

H is home.

Only for one day.

But he is home.

And that's all that matters today.

In Mourning

We got this fluffy little chick last week

~on valentines day~

It was adored for a week,

with both Em and Hero taking turns at feeding it,

and

making a comfy place for it to settle down for the night.

They played with it all the time,

doing races with it,

tickling it,

bathing it,

stroking its soft feathers,

cheeping along with it all the time.

But today,
little Chicky met with a fatal accident
and is no more.

A sobbing Hero asked me a while ago:
"How can I tell Chicky that I miss her?
Will she know that I am sad to not have her here?"

Lazy Day

Thanks guys, for all your support and your kind words.

***

Enjoying a lazy day doing nothing today.

What are you doing today?

Deflated

You know how it sometimes take a little bit of an effort

to blow up a balloon?

How it then slowly floats in the air,

rising higher and higher

when just a tiny prick

can deflate it instantly

and

leave it collapsed,

shapeless

and

completely spent?

Well,

that is a little bit like how I feel right now.

Wouldn't you feel the same way

if someone in a position of authority

told you that

however much you try

you will never be able to get the results that are expected of you

because you are just too young

and just don't have the breadth of experience

it takes to have a broad perspective required for your job?

That what you are doing right now

is meaningless and will never be successfully applied?

That you should try to stick to what you know

and what is "specified on your doctoral degree"

rather than try and pretend to know

something you have no knowledge about?

Last night,

after I listened to this person tell me

all the reasons why I am wrong for the job that I have been asked to do,

I wondered why I do what I do.

Giving it up is so tempting right now.

One Word

As part of yesterday's session at the workshop,

we asked people to think of one word

to describe someone who was "fit for the future."

Working in small groups of threes,

there was a great amount of debate

in agreeing on one word

that would describe a young person who was
fit for the future.

We had words such as

competent

confident

proactive

responsible

innovative.

Words that implied a sense of continued growth

that didn't end at the end of school.

When the word qualified

was thrown in,

nobody liked it,

because it implied that the work was done.

That with graduation,

everything was accomplished.

We couldn't agree on one word that would describe a young person

who was fit for the future.

But we did all agree

that qualified was not appropriate.

Why then,

I wonder,

are we so hooked on examination results,

and

what the piece of paper says,

at the end of it all?

If qualified, is not what we are after,

are we doing the right things in schools

to create

proactive, confident, responsible, competent

young people

who have innovative ideas?

If you were to choose one word to describe a young person

who was fit for the future,

what would that be?

Love

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

~Author Unknown~

What does love mean to you?

This Week

First of all, apologies for not having been round to yours

to see what you have been up to.

The last few days have been busy busy busy,

making final preparations for the workshop

I am organising for this week

~starting today~

for leading educators here.

For me,

there was no weekend

and it's going to be a full week ahead.

I am looking forward to spending the week

discussing the future of education;

listening to different viewpoints

and having my own say.

I am anxious that it works out well

because I've put in a lot of effort into organising it

getting the right people together

and creating a comfortable and lively environment.

It starts off in a little over two hours

with me standing in front of an audience of eighty

and saying what I have to say.

Hmmm... just two hours to start

and

I'm unusually calm.

That's strange.

Wish me luck?

Finding Balance

"Food should not be too salty, too hot, too bitter, too sweet, too sour."
~Sri Sathya Sai Baba~

Just how do you find that right balance between

salty, spicy, bitter, sweet and sour?

Which taste do you crave the most?

It's been sweet for me this week.

:-)

Thursday came

a day early.

Happy, happy, happy

surprise.

Unmusical Me

Toy musical instruments like these ones

transport me instantly

to when I was in kindergarten.

They remind me of

the maracas and the bells

and the triangles and the tamborines

and the cymbals and the flutes

that I used to play then.

Seeing the dozens of pictures from those early years

you'd be forgiven for thinking that
the little girl in the white and maroon band uniform

holding onto various musical instruments

would continue to have an interest in music.

But it didn't quite turn out that way.

Yes, I did take piano lessons for about three years

when I was in my pre-teens.

But I never really put my heart into them

and eventually gave up.

Today, I do listen to music,

but I have no great passion for it.

It's one of those things that I can do without,

but enjoy having from time to time.

What about you?

Do you play any instruments?

What kind of music do you like listening to?

I await

I wait for some relief from this humid,

clothes-sticking-to-the-body weather.

***

I am looking forward to enjoying my new books

which arrived at the weekend.

(Don't you just love the smell of new books?)

***

I await next week

when I will be working with a team of leading educational professionals

from England

who always inspire

and make me reflect,

and rethink learning

from the eyes of a child.

***

I wait for confirmation:

on whether the planned office move is going to happen this month;

on whether a trip we had started planning for October is possible;

on whether an article I had submitted to a journal is accepted.

***

But most of all,

I wait for the next two days to pass by quickly

so that Thursday is here sooner

and he is here

at home,

where he belongs.

What things are you looking forward to?

Monday Mosaic: Same but Different

I wrote before about a feeling of blah, a sense of monotony in the days. Since then, I've been trying to see it from a more positive perspective. The same, I realised, doesn't necessarily need to mean boring. The same can give a sense of solidity and comfort. A feeling of happy familiarity. I would imagine that unless there was some pattern to my days, I would be overwhelmed by new things and find it far too stressful to face on a day to day basis.

Yes, I am trying to talk my way out of feeling like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, but it was Em who made me start thinking this way.

Yesterday, at the breakfast table, the conversation went something like this:

Hero: What day is it today?

Me: Sunday. It's the start of another week.

Hero: It's Sunday again?

Em: Yes, but it's a different Sunday. It's a different week.

Hero: Why is it different?

Em: Because it's a whole new day and a whole new week.

The way in which she explained to her little brother how she was looking forward to learning lots of new exciting things in school and working on a new art project we are doing at home, made me stop and think. Of course Em was right. It was never exactly the same, was it? It's the way you look at it that matters. And if you look positively, no doubt you would find things that would make you smile.

So, I'm learning from my eight year old.

A Mild Obsession with Watercrafts

In my part of the world, you see a lot of boats.

They make an excellent subject for photography,

don't you think?

I particularly like these little row boats.

I remember being in one nearly as little as this once,

but powered by a small engine;

crowded in together with six other people;

the engine going dead in the middle of a very choppy sea;

going green with sea sickness

as we waited for help to arrive

while the little boat rocked and rolled

with every wave.

I like watching fishermen out at sea.

Their quick practised movements

as they spend day after day under the scorching equatorial sun.

We saw these two lads take the boat out into the sea late one afternoon,

one pulling the boat

while the other steered.

This is a traditional sailing dhoni,

with only the sail missing.

The picture was taken during a heavy rain shower,

(notice the grey skies)

while the dhoni was anchored by the shore.

I just had to get out (getting drenched in the process)

to capture this beautiful vessel

because it's not often that I see one of these anymore.

Random Thoughts

Don't you wish that preparing a meal was as easy as this?

Just dipping your beak into the water

and voilà

you have your meal in your mouth.

Do you ever wonder about where your flowers have been

or what's been on them

before you put them to your nose

and deeply inhale in the frangrance?

There has to be some kind of warning notice on these lychees:

sweet, juicy, addictive.

Because I could just go on eating these.

When I see elderly ladies like these

sitting on the waterfront,

engrossed in gossip conversation

I wonder if this is what I will be like

when I am their age

(many, many years from now).

Someone told me recently

that they try to maintain

a different personality for work;

one that is in stark contrast from their normal self.

Why? I wondered.

Imagine the stress of play acting your way

through an entire day,

your role changing considerably

depending on your environment.

I certainly couldn't do it.

Quiet Reflection

Friday.

At home with family.

A day of prayer and quiet reflection.

Playing around with my camera.

Curling up to read a book.

Relaxing.

Identicalness

Do you sometimes feels like you are living the same day

over and over again?

When today is never really a new day

but a monotonous repetition of yesterday?

When the eagerly awaited tomorrow

fails to live up to its promise?

It's not often that I feel like this.

But lately,

I can't seem to get myself out of this feeling of blah.

I need to find myself a new challenge,

a new burst of creative energy.

Any ideas?

Trapped

No internet connectivity at home for the last two days.

Made me realise just how dependent I have become on it

to seek information,

and to stay connected.

It is a strange feeling of being trapped.

Unable to reach out and explore.

Mosaic Monday: Bilimbi Blossoms

They add such a burst of colour as you walk in.

Right now, the tree is filled with these little flowers

and small green fruit are beginning to form.

More mosaics at Mary's.