Missing H

[part of the bouquet he sent me on my birthday]

I was twelve.

I saw him everyday on the way to school. And back.

My day wasn't complete unless I caught a glimpse of him somehow.

He was different. Older. Unruly hair. Shirt untucked.

Grey trousers with white stripes - unlike the uniform black of the other boys.

For two years, we spoke only with our eyes.

Then, one evening he rang me.

And we haven't stopped speaking since.

He is the only one who truly understands my words, my moods, my silences.

I only wish he was here with me now, rather than miles away.

Without him, I am only half complete.

Fragile

Lending a supportive hand and a shoulder to cry on
for a friend whose marriage ended recently.
Wondering about how feelings and relationships change;
how people who were one day the closest to your heart
become unrecognizable strangers almost overnight.
(How DOES that happen?)
Treasuring the loves in my life
Thankful for the joy and fulfillment they bring to my life.
(What would I ever do without them?)

35

I woke up to the sound of this and a cheer of birthday greetings from my two little angels.

They'd woken up early, blown up balloons, and hung them around the living room.

And put up party decorations.

On the dining table was a small package wrapped in crepe paper.

A handmade gift and the sweetest card.

Aint I a lucky girl?

Paper + Glue + Glitter

I had been to an art exhibition in a primary school sometime ago

and had taken photos (with my phone) of some of the lovely collages that the kids had made.

I was showing these to Em and Hero last week

and

they wanted to re-create one of the collages.

We studied the photo,

planned out our collage

(I did some of the cutting)

and then I let them paste away happily.

Hero was in charge of the glitter glue.

Em pasted layers of teardrop shapes to make the feathers.

and added pretty pink flowers

to make a peacock in a garden.

On tomorrow's agenda

is a space collage.

Stay tuned! :)

Today I feel like...

... walking barefoot on the sand ...

... watching the river rush past beneath me ...

... riding an elephant through a quiet little village ...

... while away the day feeding ducks by a lake ...

~ doing anything fun outdoors really ~

rather than playacting the role of domestic goddess.

But on the bright side, I do have a very enthusiastic little helper

to help me with the cleaning.

Contrasts

The fragile beauty of this

delicate creeper

twisting itself up the

iron support

which is beginning to rust.

Willpower ... or lack thereof

[The pomegranate - symbol of temptation in some cultures]

I can very much relate to Mae West's quote:
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
Why is it that I always give in?

If I set myself a boundary,

all I can think about is reasons justifying the need to cross that same boundary.

If I get myself started on a diet,

for example,

all I can think about is eating.

And the minute I do cross the boundary,

~ the minute I wolf down a whole packet of cookies ~

I realise the futility of my actions.

Giving into temptation is never was I expect it to be.

It is just so unsatisfying.

A complete anticlimax.

And the guilt is so overpowering.

Mahatma Gandhi is believed to have said that:

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."

I wish I had that kind of strength.

Do you?

What is the one thing that you can never resist?

Mosaic Monday: Treasures from the Ocean

maggie and millie and molly and may
~ e e cummings ~

maggie and millie and molly and may
went down to the beach (to play one day)
and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles, and
millie befriended a stranded star
who's rays five languid fingers were;
and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles: and
may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.
For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea.

***

More monday mosaics at Mary's.

Safely locked?

An archaic looking fire hydrant, situated in the parking lot of a budget guesthouse,

padlocked for security
but without an actual fire hydrant inside! :)

A room in the guesthouse
bolted and padlocked.
but the key with its tattered cardboard keytag
hanging from the padlock.

All because of a name

Religious faith is a powerful force for good, and it ought to result in people coming together and showing concern for each other.

~ Ted Strickland ~

I don't normally write about religion.

I strongly believe that one's personal faith is just that - personal.

It concerns no one else.

It is a relationship between oneself and his/her creator.
But today I need to say something here.

Something prompted by a message I received on facebook.

A nasty message by some random annonymous jerk

who belittled my religion and

called me every derogatory name s/he could.

Just because I happen to be a muslim.

My first name may not be common,

but my surname happens to be instantly recognisable as a muslim name.

This has in the past led to some difficulties, when I was living elsewhere,

especially during the 9/11 period.

I know people who have been spat at, thrown stones at,

just because they happened to be dressed in a certain way.

I have experienced first hand how some people's attitude changes

the moment I mention my name.

I have experienced first hand how these same people are all smiling and charming and helpful

when I use my husband's surname.

In one instance,

I had called to make a hotel reservation,

and after having established that there was a room available,

I had given my name,

and I could hear the smile in the receptionist's voice disappear.

All of a sudden, the politeness was gone.

I was told that there had been a mistake.

That there were no vacancies for the period that I had requested.

I was furious.

An hour later, I called back.

Same receptionist.

Gave her my husband's name.

What do you know?

A vacancy magically materialised.

Why am I judged based on my name?

Why am I assumed to be a certain kind of person based on my faith?

To the cowardly jerk who didn't even have a proper name on his facebook account, I say:

Know me before you judge me.

Understand what Islam is, what being a muslim is, before you put us all into one small box.

***

Today is the first day of Ramadhan:

the month of fasting, reflection and spirituality

(and yes, feasting - once the sunsets).

To all muslims out there, I wish you all a blessed Ramadhan.

Happy Week: Friday

Happy Week would not be complete without

my three favourite people.

Em, Hero & H.

Just being with them is enough.

I am happy.

Happy Week: Thursday

Making me smile today:

watching this song, this man, these moves.

And an even bigger smile:

watching Hero reenact the same moves

and singing (not quite the same words)

at the top of his voice.

Happy Week: Wednesday

Start the day well, and everything will go right for the rest of the day.

I believe in that.

And part of starting the day well is breakfast.

A good breakfast.

I like a cooked breakfast on weekends - perhaps eggs and sausages; pancakes; or french toast.

During rushed weekday mornings, fresh fruit is always a good start.

When I am away from home, and staying in a hotel,

I look forward to breakfast buffets.

The tables laden with delicious breads, a variety of fresh fruit,

a smörgåsbord of smoked salmon and the delicacies of the local cuisines

(roshi & mashuni; appam & sambols; idli and sambar... yum!).

And there are those days when I have had breakfast prepared for me by my little angels.
Those days are especially good.

***

I am meeting a good friend for brunch today -

someone whom I haven't met for a proper chat for a long time

(email and phone can only do so much)

so I am looking forward to that.

Happy Week: Tuesday

I am a reader.

I wanted my children to grow up with a passion for reading.

And so I started reading to them before they were even born.

Their bedtime routines always involve a story being read to them.

At other times during the day too,

"Mumma can you read this book for me?"

or

"Let's read a story together"

are frequent utterances in our home.

It makes me happy that both Em and Hero have developed a love for books

and that reading has become deeply ingrained into their daily routines.

Lisa is hosting a happy week and I am playing along - won't you join too?

Happy Week: Monday

(click to enlarge)

Blue skies. Warm sunshine. Gentle breeze.

Rustling palm fronds.

Fragrant flowers in vivid hues.

Guaranteed to make you feel good.

To make you smile.

***

Lisa is hosting a happy week, and I am playing along - won't you join too?

I did manage to go to...

the Qutb Minar.

The intricate brick work and ornate carvings on the historic tower and the buildings that surround it were just so impressive.

But I think I'm just going to have to plan a proper holiday in India to see the country better.

:-)

Happy to be home again, after five days in India.

Five days spent inside conference rooms.

Managing to get only a quick glimpse of what the city had to offer.

This made me smile

Came across the following quote the other day, and it made me smile.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.

What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way.

Then you live in an old age home.

You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.

You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...

...and you finish off as an orgasm.

~ George Carlin ~

Do you worry about getting old?

What is it about old age that worries you?

Reaching High

The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Oprah Winfrey

O Magazine, September 2002

It's all knowing what to start with. If you start in the right place and follow all the steps, you will get to the right end.
Elizabeth Moon

The Speed of Dark, 2003

It is hard work, but there is happiness in it.
Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata

Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005

Do you sometimes feel like this?

Do you ever feel like you are just another log in a crate?

Trapped in a cage, with no room to move.

The cage is:

constricting, binding, stifling.

Do you ever feel like that?

Brown on green

Are these distant cousins?

Is it just me...

... or does this flower remind you of those revolving fibre optic lamps?

So delicate.

This is the fruit (inedible, as far as I know).

It becomes brown, dry and hollow-sounding.

Amazing how something so pretty can turn into something so dull.

Packing & Preparing

I leave tonight.

Away from home for a week.

Presenting at a conference in India.

During that time, I may not be visiting you so regularly,

but will be posting here when I can.

So do check in.